On personal style, human connection, and the beauty of belonging
There is a particular kind of Northern California day that refuses to acknowledge the calendar.
Fall has arrived. Technically. Yet the sun is still warm, the water is inviting, and for a few glorious hours, summer decides it isn’t quite finished with us.
That was the backdrop for an event I recently stumbled upon: water, sunshine, music, and, unexpectedly, a very compelling group of people serving ice-cold beer.
Now, I should probably disclose something. I’m not a beer drinker. But even I had to admit that on a warm California afternoon by the water, a cold beer suddenly seemed less like a beverage and more like a perfectly styled accessory.
There was an entertainment stage nearby. But what caught my attention wasn’t the performance.
It was the people working together.
The Look Wasn’t the Whole Story
They were vibrant and engaged, moving around one another with an almost effortless rhythm. People anticipated what needed doing, communicated easily, and seemed more interested in helping one another than proving who was in charge.
Watching them made me feel calm.
We have so many names for that impression: presence, charisma, confidence, good energy. I didn’t know their stories. I simply noticed how comfortable I felt around them.
And then, of course, there was the clothing. Because I’m still me.
The perfectly fitted crew-neck T-shirt. The kind that makes you briefly reconsider whether anything more complicated is necessary. And those cargo pants. Service workers and firefighters do seem to have a particular talent for making functional clothing look exceptionally good.
But after watching for a while, I realized that what appealed to me went beyond the outfits.
The clothes were simply participating in it.
The Quality of a Welcome
Eventually, curiosity won. I started a conversation with someone who was newer to the team and asked how he had joined and what the experience had been like.
What stayed with me wasn’t simply that he had been welcomed. It was the quality of the welcome he described.
He spoke about being included and valued, rather than being made to feel like an outsider waiting for permission to belong. His account gave me another reason to appreciate the warmth I had observed.
There was something refreshing about a community where belonging didn’t seem to require someone else to become smaller.
Perhaps that is one of the most underrated forms of style: making other people feel like they belong.
What We Mean by “Good Energy”
We talk about people’s energy all the time. “I like her energy.” “There was something about that room.” “I just felt comfortable around them.”
Here, I’m using the word to describe an impression, not a measurable mystical force. We notice expressions, tone of voice, posture, movement, and how people respond to one another. Those cues can influence how an interaction feels, sometimes before we have put the feeling into words.
An impression isn’t a guarantee of someone’s character or safety. But I could name what I appreciated that afternoon: cooperation, warmth, and a willingness to include someone new.
For me, “good energy” was shorthand for that experience.
The Spiritual Side of Style
I’m drawn to people who bring care and intention to their lives.
That can take many forms: movement, rest, learning, prayer, meditation, time outdoors, or making room for a quiet moment in a crowded day. It doesn’t have to look impressive from the outside.
And it certainly isn’t a competition over whose body, routine, or wardrobe looks most disciplined.
What interests me is the intention: making choices that support the life you want to live while recognizing that everyone has different needs, abilities, and circumstances.
Spirituality can be part of that. For some, it lives within organized religion. For others, it takes shape through reflection, philosophy, nature, or service.
For me, spiritual practice is most meaningful when it deepens compassion, encourages reflection, and respects individual choice. I’m drawn to communities where belonging leaves room for being yourself.
Those are qualities I find attractive. They also influence how I think about style: not just what we wear, but how we move through the world.
And Then There Was AI
Attending an INFORMS regional analytics event added another layer to these reflections. As an MSBA student, I spend plenty of time thinking about learning, decision-making, and how humans work alongside increasingly sophisticated systems.
Those studies have also made me curious about consciousness, a question that reaches beyond analytics into science and philosophy.
Artificial neural networks learn patterns from data through mathematical processes. Their complexity can make particular outputs difficult to explain, but difficulty interpreting a system does not establish that it has consciousness or subjective experience.
The connection I’m making here is a metaphor, not a scientific equivalence.
We study systems shaped by connections. We also live in communities shaped by relationships. In our own lives, the people, habits, and environments around us can influence what we learn and how we behave.
That afternoon offered a small, human example. A newcomer described being welcomed, and I watched a team cooperate. I found myself thinking about how much the quality of our connections matters, whether we’re building an organization or simply helping someone feel at home.
What I Took Away
I went to an event, admired some exceptionally good cargo pants, drank something I don’t normally drink, and talked to a stranger.
Somehow, I left thinking about style, belonging, spirituality, and the questions following me through graduate school. Which feels very Northern California.
But the observation that stayed with me was simple: confidence is especially appealing when it makes room for other people.
I still love a great silhouette, an incredible fabric, and a perfectly fitted T-shirt. Clothing gives us so many ways to express ourselves. Yet that afternoon reminded me how much the wearer brings to the outfit, and how much kindness can add to an already compelling look.
Perhaps the most attractive energy of all is simply becoming comfortable enough with who you are that other people feel comfortable being themselves around you.
The Edit: Boots & Cargos
Inspired by that afternoon’s effortless style, a few pieces from The Tres Chic Edit to make your own.
Geox Iridea Leather Combat Boot · Black · US 8 / EU 39 · New — $180.
Silence + Noise Cargo Pants · Size 6 · NWT — $89.
